"First key to happiness is letting go of your past"

- Muazxinfinity

:l Lately

i havent really been on here to share my thoughts but just had a some stuff on my mind lately. caught my self reminiscing of the old times, all the fun i used to have and all my experiences. and it like lately i have been like…….blah……lol, things of how my life used to be and how it came to be today. its like if i was to show my past self were im at today and who i am as a person, would i be happy or would i be disgusted. people that were in my life that i used to talk to all the time that are barley in the picture now, which scares me. i feel like people have moved on or in the process of it, and i sit back and think do i try to keep them in my life or do i let it be, because as they say if they not in your life anymore, then maybe it wasn’t meant to be or something like that. i know people dont believe me when i say im really busy, they getting tired of hearing me say that, or have people tell them otherwise but i mean it.

lol i was told that

im very bad when it comes to planning my time

which might be kinda true. i have always been the, wait at the last moment/ go with the flow kinda person, but in this time in my life i cant be. all my time is limited cuz of the responsible things i have to do and take care of. i know this kinda thing happens to everybody as they mature but its different when you are there. so maybe its a little tough for me.

i dont know lately just dont feel i have accomplished all the stuff i wanted or whats expected of me, especially at my age. i dont know, maybe its where im at or the people i associate with at this moment in time. …..you know the whole analogy or whatever they call it —-> “feel like im on a treadmill, i keep running but im still in the same place”

and on top of all that i feel a bit career confused, i know what i want to do, but i feel like its farther away then ever. even though its related to a more general reason and there are other things i can do to proly get there but will not enjoy/ be good at as much as my main career. its like i get excited to try something out and dont have enough time to put into it as i want. sometimes i feel like im average at everything and not spectacular at one thing.

i just wish i had A LOT OF MONEY fall out from the sky so i could

-Quit my job

-pay back people/ company i might owe money to

-travel the world and maybe even start my own business

-buy myself some well needed clothes/”bling” lol

i dont know……. here i am when i need to get some stress of my mind Tumblr to save the day.          LATELY i feel that no matter who i talk to about what stresses me out or anything of that nature, i feel that no one will really get me/ help me other than myself. i i feel that im pretty good when it comes to helping people with advice when they need it, but LATELY i feel i dont get helpful advice/hear what i need to hear when i have a problem i seek an answer to so i guess it up to me to solve but where to start.
-_-